Cant Sleep..... Wont Sleep?!

Well here I am at 00:55am unable to sleep..... guess who forgot to take the herbal sleeping tablets tonight!!!

Im not really sure why I cant sleep, Im just restless and unable to switch off. I am of course stressing about the weather - BBC News decided to show me MORE snow predicted for Saturday in Scotland - NOT GOOD! I need it to be clear so I can get a clear run up - what it does AFTER that is up to the gods, but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be clear for my drive! Im scared enough about doing the trip with the kids on our own, having only ever done it with my Dad in the car, this is going to be..... interesting to say the least!

I think we are pretty much sorted on the packing side of things, just the last few bits to do, but al in all we are living with the very basics - even down to the kids plastic plates and bowls LOL Im just impressed I still seem to have my internet connection - I dont know when today it will get cut off, but I am betting I will be doing something REALLY important like being on Farmville on Facebook!!!

In 8hrs time I will have dropped Jessica for her last day at school, and be dropping Becca for her last day at nursery. It just seems so crazy to be uprooting the whole family from everything they have ever known..... I know long term it will be so much better for them, but I am still having niggles about whether we really are doing the right thing.... so many people have said that they would do the same thing given the chance, but it doesnt make leaving any easier!

I guess once today is over, and the girls are home, things will feel a lot less stressful. I think a lot of my issues have been building up to today, and how the girls (and me!) will cope with it. I have never wanted a day to be over only 1hr and 3 minutes into it!!!

Well, I guess I will have to go and TRY to get some rest, even if I cant sleep, some rest would be good..... Im going to be emotional enough later without having the sleep deprivation thing going on as well!

Will no doubt update numerous times over the next 24hrs with how I am doing....... but they will probably be short and sweet entries as I will be on the mobile broadband dongle, which will only allow me 2hrs internet a day!

Take care all xxxx

This week is just FLYING!

I am surrounded by boxes!!! This week has just flown by already, I just can't believe it is thursday tomorrow!

This week has been a hype of activity, packing boxes, making phone calls and trying to calm the heck down! I ended up going and buying Rescue Remedy today.... wow that stuff is good! I've gone from complete mess emotionally to pretty chilled out and calm!

Tomorrow is probably the one day I have been dreading more than most - the girls last day at school and nursery! I don't know why it's upsetting me so much, but I just feel its the end of an era and so sad to be uprooting the girls from everything they have ever known. We are so lucky in that Jessica has a few school friends she has swapped addresses with and has promised to write to.... I think it will make the change so much easier for her.

The nursery that Becca goes to is just fantastic, I really can't fault them at all. I have been up and down to that nursery for 2yrs now and the staff are just amazing. I have bought lots of presents for both school and nursery to show my thanks to them, I just hope they are appreciated!

I am going to find the saying goodbye bit the hardest, to walk out and know I wont see the people I usually see 5 days a week is going to hit me like a train! I wish I was more care-free like Dave, but I just can't help it. Im just an emotional girl!!!

Another big stress factor has been the SNOW covering Scotland over the last 36 hours! Now, call me silly but is it not APRIL tomorrow?! Are we not into Spring time?! WHY is it snowing..... and choosing the week I really could do without it?! Im hoping it has all cleared by the weekend, from what I can see from the forecast, no more snow after tonight and then lots of rain, so fingers crossed the rain washes all signs of snow away! 700 miles is a LONG trip anyway without having to drive like a snail due to the weather!

I spoke to my Auntie earlier who is travelling from Grimsby up to Thurso to help us out with the move, luckily she has changed her plans from leaving today to leaving tomorrow! I feel a little happier knowing they are being sensible and not putting themselves in danger!

Well, I will endeavor to update tomorrow, although we will losing our internet connection at some point tomorrow!

What a weekend!!!!

WOW! That went QUICK!

Sunday night, 10.13pm and oh my word...... Ive been a busy girl!

Yesterday started a lot earlier than usual for me on a weekend.... 7.30am! I usually have a rule of not before 9am at the weekend but with the sun streaming in through the windows, and my darling little ones having so much fun they felt the need to squeal in delight..... I was up and raring to go!

We headed off to Ipswich to try and find Jessica some grey school tights, and pick up a few bits before heading to Dads for breakfast! Well, couldnt get the tights, but got some cute socks instead! Got to dads and spent an hour chatting and eating toast before heading home and Dad headed off to Bracknell with my brother for the day.

Once home, the fun began! Cue boxes everywhere! Got a lot more stuff packed, and all the boxes from upstairs are now stacked in the corner in the living room! Lots of packing, tidying and sorting out done, it was time for a snooze! Had an hours sleep and then woken by Dave to say he had run me a nice hot bath..... lovely! Our friends Nadine and Stuart came over for a chinese takeaway last night - what a night! Had so much fun, laughed lots and ate WAY too much! Managed to make myself feel like I had the hangover from hell this morning too!

Our clocks went forward an hour, so of course we lost an hours sleep too! So, new time, I was in bed at 1.30am but very little in the way of sleep..... old time of 3.50am (4.50am) the girls are awake..... erm NO! GO BACK TO SLEEP! Managed to hold them all off until 6.30am new time (5.30am old time) when Dave gave in and brought them downstairs. I came down at about 8am new time.... so man alive, that was 7am old time....... I DONT DO MORNINGS! Added with the fact I felt like I was going to die, it was not a good morning! While Dave had done the ironing, tidied the bedroom and packed up some more boxes, I lay in bed feeling sorry for myself! Finally fell asleep again and was woken at 12 noon to be met with my dad downstairs - Dave had taken the children to go and pick him up! We had some lunch, popped to the shop for some bits for tea, and generally chilled out for the rest of the afternoon.

After a lovely roast chicken dinner, we got the kids bathed and into PJs and did homework with Jessica. Kids all into bed, Dave takes Dad home and I set to cleaning the living room carpet...... however Jessica had ideas other than sleep! She decided she wasnt sleepy - which in old timings I guess 6pm is early.... she stayed up and watched me clean the carpets! She finally got into bed at 8.30pm new time (7.30pm old time) and not heard anything since!

Watched the final of Dancing on Ice and now watching House MD while updating here...... and the realisation of 6 more sleeps in this house is freaking me out! I still can barely believe that in 8 days time, I will be in my new home, 700 miles away from pretty much all I have ever known! Although I have moved around a lot, the longest I have been "away" (as in unable to see dad within the hour) is 14mnths..... but even then we were "home" at least once a month as it was only a 3hr drive! I'm now moving so far away, that it would take 14hrs straight driving to get back should Dad need me!

I need to keep telling myself I am doing this for the better of my family, and I know it really, but these emotions just keep popping up! I have also sat tonight and worked out our monthly finances up until July, and actually, I can see now how much we will save by living in Thurso. The reduced cost of housing and the fact we wont need to use the car, will be saving us a hell of a lot of money, that can fund family days out, and future holidays!

Right, well thats it for tonight, Ive bored the pants off myself, let alone anyone who might read this! Here's to an uneventful week - even if I am stuck in for the next 3 mornings waiting for the gas man, the electric man and the energy efficiency man! All these checks that need to be done before we move, but oh so inconvenient!

Night all.... take care and sweet dreams!

Damn Emotions!

Hard day today!

Emotions are all over the place and things are really starting to sink in! This time next week, the kids will have finished school and nursery, everything will be packed, and we will be resting up ready for removal day!

Saw my friend Marina today for a milkshake and chat..... was really nice to see her before we go, and will miss her loads! Cue feeling more and more emotional as the days go on! Saying bye to a friend yesterday, another today, and my bestest friend round tomorrow night for a chinese meal, its all a bit too much!!!

I just need to keep focused on the bigger picture, yes leaving is going to hurt like hell, but the happiness to be gained once I am there and unpacked will no doubt fade the sadness.... its just geography at the end of the day!

I have had a banging headache all day, and I think that is down to tiredness more than anything. I had a bad night last night, but refused to get up and come down to the laptop as I think I would have been up all night then, instead of dozing on and off!

Have just booked an online delivery of groceries for the day we move into the house, as we intend on using or chucking most of what we have here at the moment! At least that way we are up and running in the food department while everything else gets sorted!

However much I love my children, I can't wait for them to be in bed tonight. I am EXHAUSTED and they have done nothing but play me up today..... I appreciate I'm not feeling wonderful, but I had hoped for a more chilled out end to the week - instead I have tired cranky horrors!

Tonight I plan to eat, relax and sleep, so I doubt I will update again today...... the weekend is now upon us, and will involve sorting out a lot of the house and working out what we need to live this week and packing the rest of it! Dad is away tomorrow so will catch up with him on sunday.... and then we are into our final week..... ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!!!!

Five fives

Rules: Answer each of the five questions below with five answers. Tag 5 people to do the same.

• Five things you would do if you were a billionaire.

  Buy a house, a car, a holiday, pay off my dads mortgage and hire a nanny!

• Five things you did yesterday.

  Woke up, cried, slept, went to the shop and read a book

• Five jobs you would rather do than your own (if salary and qualifications were not an issue).

  Midwife, Nurse, Doctor, Nanny, Nursery-nurse

• Five snacks you wish were calorie-free.

  Crisps, chocolate, biscuits, chocolate covered raisins, haribo!

• Five things that make you happy.

  My husband, My children, My dad, My Gran, My friends

Everyone tagged
Click here to fill in this meme

What a difference a day makes.....

I am delirious today! Rebecca has a nursery place from 12th April!

I went to see my very lovely friend Katy today for a chit chat and by the time I got home, there was an answer phone message from the school the girls will be going to..... saying they had a place come up today for Rebecca in afternoon nursery from 12th April...... OH MY GOD! I am soooooo excited! It will be a bit of a pain because Jessica will finish school at 2.45pm but I need to wait until 3.15pm for Rebecca to finish nursery, but would rather that than her not have a place at all!

So, all in all, even though this school wasn't my first choice of school, it certainly seems to be the one that is making the effort to help us!

We have 8 days to go now, and although I'm having good days (today) and bad days (most days!) I'm feeling a lot more settled knowing that both my girls will still have the normality of school and nursery. It will take a bit of getting used to but I'm sure all will be good in the end!

I am still looking at the TO DO list and unsure of what exactly else I can do before the weekend! The plan for the weekend is to get the beds taken apart and just sleep on the mattresses on the floor! Also need to run down my freezer - there isn't too much in it, but I either need to use it or bin it! I just can't decide whether the ice cream needs eaten or binned..... silly question really?!

I just really can't quite believe all this is happening! Seeing my friend Katy today, for what will be the last time in a LONG time, was heartbreaking - especially as she was so lovely and bought me a big box of chocolates, a small bottle of Malibu and a card that just made me cry..... it's days like today that make me question myself, but deep down I know it is for the best!

Well, that's about it for now - I live a very boring life really..... 8 days and it will all change with any luck!

Feeling ok!

Well..... how a day can change! I'm actually feeling pretty good tonight! I can't deny this morning, I honestly considered calling the whole thing off! I really couldn't deal with the stress...... but things have got better!

I realised that there was no point in getting upset and stressed over the whole school issue - things have worked out and are sorted!

We had a chilled out afternoon, and once we picked up the girls from school and nursery, we headed over to Ipswich to pick up my dad. Had a lovely dinner and Dave is now driving Dad home again. When he gets back we are heading to bed to watch a DVD, so trying to get this written before he gets back!

I'm just about to search online for a moving house checklist - I'm almost certain there will be something I forget to do.... so best to avoid that!

I am planning to be more positive tomorrow, so fingers crossed no nasty letters to upset me first thing! I'm meeting a friend for little while first thing, so should be good!

Well, that's about it really - not much else happening in the land of Linz!

G'Night xxx

Tears before breakfast.....

..... and that's just from me! Got a letter this morning from the intended primary school in Thurso..... they have a place for Jessica after Easter, just no place for Rebecca in August! Cue tears and tantrums and stress first thing this morning - not what I needed.

On the plus side, I have managed to get both girls a place at another primary school (our catchment school) and it is closer, but I really wanted the kids to go to my first choice. Just typical after buying Jessica's new uniform yesterday, that the jumper is now no longer needed! Thankfully, the new school is still yellow t-shirts, but with blue jumpers instead! Only wasted £3 then!

Well, hoping the rest of today is a little less stressful............ am picking Dad up after school to come over for dinner with us - not that I know what's on the menu! LOL

Will update later - but just needed to get that little rant out of the way!

That's Better!

Feeling much better now! Have managed to get through the day, got the kids fed and ready for bed - and into bed, and chilled out this evening.

I've had a nice hot bath, and Dave made me a lovely hot chocolate so now I'm just relaxing in front of the TV before heading off to bed.

I know there are going to be bad days - especially in the run up to the big day, and I just need to try and cope with them as best I can, without upsetting too many people!

Having watched certain things on TV tonight, I realise how much needs to change when we move. I need to be such a different person, and I plan exactly that. I will be putting exceptional high standards down, and forcing myself to reach them. Some of them are below, with my reasons for doing so.

LOSE WEIGHT - Since having the kids (3 under 3 and a half at one point!) I have put on far too much weight. I'm not happy in my own body, and havent been for a while. I have a love-hate relationship with food.... love to eat it, hate the effect it has on me! I will be going healthy, making the kids go healthy and refuse to have my vice foods in the house - CHEESE, CHOCOLATE, CRISPS and CURRY!!!! I must also force myself to eat at meal times, not when I'm hungry! Breakfast - what's that?! Can't honestly remember the last time I ate breakfast!

EXERCISE MORE - Tied in with the losing weight thing as well, but I know I am no where near active enough. A lot of that has been me being so lazy but it is also the fact that where we live at the moment, we need to drive to get anywhere! When we move, everything is within walking distance! The only reason to use the car up north will be to do a weekly shop and to go on family days out! I intend on joining the gym.... it is a lot cheaper up there to have a family pass for unlimited swimming and gym than it is here, and so with any luck, we, as a family, will be swimming at least 3 times a week and I intend to hit the gym 3 times a week too.

SHOUT LESS - Yes, I admit it, I scream and shout like a fishwife sometimes.... probably way too often! I am going down the route of praising the good, ignoring the bad, and using warnings and naughty step consistently! Daniel is at the stage of pushing boundaries, and I need to nip it in the bud! He will always be my baby, but I need to stop babying him so much and let him grow into a little boy who knows right from wrong!

1-2-1 TIME - I really want to spend some proper 1-2-1 time with the kids. Allowing them at least 30 minutes each every day to have uninterrupted mummy time. I think it is definitely something Jessica in particular will benefit from - she is my high-maintenance child!!!

HOMEWORK - Making sure I spend time with Jessica over her reading and spellings. At the moment, we have been guilty of neglecting these tasks that school ask we do every night. A lot of it depends on Jessica to be honest, she loves her spellings and needs very little input from us on them, but with her reading, I find myself getting frustrated because she knows the words, but isn't understanding the story because she isn't taking in the words she reads!!!

GET OUT - I am making myself the promise that I will leave the house, other than school runs, at least once a day. I have become a bit of a recluse here, in that I don't go out unless I have to..... up there, there is no excuses. Even if it is just a walk along the beach each day, it will help with the exercise, get me the fresh air and keep me off the computer for at least an hour each day! Also, make sure I attend the play groups for Becca and Daniel - they need the interaction with other children!

PLAY - I want to play with the kids more. At the moment, we leave them to entertain themselves. I couldn't tell you the last time I got down on the floor and played a game with the children..... thats awful! I want to make some time out to join in their games and TURN OFF THE TV!!!!

Well, that's all I can think of for now, but I'm sure there will be more! When I look at the above list, and see how different our lives can be, I feel excited by the move.... and a lot less scared! I'm hoping I can make it happen!

So, on the whole, not a great day emotion wise but this evening has allowed me to step back, chill out and take a look at the bigger picture. I'm still not sure exactly how this move is going to happen, how we will get everything packed and sorted out in time, but I'm sure it will all just click at the last minute.... I think I'm forgetting that I have done this numerous times before - maybe not on this scale, and with 3 children under my feet, but done it none the less!

11 sleeps left in this house...... 2 in limbo land...... and then my first night in my new house!

And breathe.........

......... 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10.......... nope! Hasn't worked!

Not having a good day today. Feeling very irritable and stressed today. I'm not coping at all well and I don't know what to do to make things better!

The kids are determined to play me up and make as much noise and mess as possible, as well as annoying the hell out of each other today, so I feel like all I have done is scream like a fishwife all day!

Managed to get my shopping done this morning, including new t-shirts and a jumper for Jessica starting her new school. Going from white t-shirts and red jumper or cardigan to yellow t-shirts and green jumpers! I just need to buy her new school shoes when we get to Thurso as I know she will only outgrow them if I buy them now - she has a knack of doing that! I did buy myself a new CD and Dave got himself a new book, and we got the kids easter eggs too so quite successful!

I had a little nap this afternoon but it didn't do much to ease my bad mood unfortunately, Dave even promised me a shopping trip after the school run...... ended up in WH Smiths (stationery!!!) and bought myself an expanding box file, a new note book, the new TV magazine and 6 cream eggs...... ooops how did they fall in the basket?! Wanted a new knitting magazine, but the 2 I usually buy haven't released the next ones yet!!!!

Am planning on trying to chill out tonight, a few TV shows I want to watch, and then a hot bath and a hot chocolate to try and settle me for the night. I am really wanting this week to fly by and get into the weekend as soon as possible in order for me to really crack on with the TO DO list...... so much to do, but nothing I can really start until the weekend. First job will be making sure all the washing and ironing is done so I can pack the suitcase with our clothes for the first few days after the move. Then it will be a case of getting right down to the bare minimum - no toys, no clothes, no nothing! Looking forward to Saturday night to see my best buddy Nadine and her husband Stuart - bring on the Chinese takeaway! Will really miss her when I go, but we will still email and phone, and I'm hoping they will take a holiday and visit us!

Well thats it for the minute - could well update again later - but needed to vent before I did something BAD to the kids!!!

Random Thoughts

So, here I am on a Monday night watching TV and blogging. I have so many emotions running through my body right now that I don't really know which one to combat first!

Scared - am I doing the right thing? Will the children adapt to the new life? Will Jessica settle into her new school?

Nervous - for the reasons above, the drive north on our own with the children (Dad has always been with us before!) and for us - making new friends, settling in and enjoying what the Scottish Highlands has to offer!

Excited - a fresh start, opportunities being opened up to us and the thrill of being just us! Being there for my Granny and being able to support her as she get older.

Worried - am I doing the right thing? Taking the kids away from everything they have ever known? Leaving my dad behind? So many questions - so few answers.

There it is - in a nutshell, I'm all over the place! All the moves we have done in the past have been minuscule compared to this! This is 700 miles and to a place where we know virtually no-one!

There is also the mammoth TO DO list....... the one that as soon as I cross off a few items, another few get added to the bottom of it! I see so much around me that I want to get done, but know we are a week too early yet! Most of what needs to be done in the run up to the big day, can't be done until the last few days - unless I want the kids going crazy because they have no toys to play with, or we want to eat off of paper plates etc!

I did manage to make a few phone calls today to do the whole change of address thing, I've filled out some paperwork for the benefits and I remembered to buy stamps for the change of address letters I've written for family and friends!

Tomorrow will consist of a bit of shopping, paying bills and hopefully not much else..... but my life is never that simple! There is a nasty sickness bug going around at school, so I'm playing a waiting game to see if my lot come down with it. Rebecca was sick last Thursday night, so hoping that was her share! On the plus side, at the moment we all seem to be relatively healthy, apart from the usual issues with my darling husband! Rebecca's asthma is 100% better now she is on the stronger inhaler, Daniel seems to be putting more weight on his foot after somehow hurting it last Thursday and refusing to walk on it, and Jessica, although tired because she doesn't sleep, seems to have calmed slightly at school after having a few unsettled days! Nerves are getting to her too I think! So with all that, I wouldn't be at all surprised if SOMETHING goes wrong at some point between now and 3rd April!

Well that's it from me for now..... fingers crossed I sleep tonight (unlike last night!) but if not, I will no doubt be thrashing out whatever it is keeping me awake on here!

G'night all! x

Welcome!

Welcome to my blog! Thought it would be a good time to start one to document our upcoming move to Thurso!

Well, where do I start..... the beginning I guess! In May 2009 we went to visit my wonderful Granny for a few days, and it made me realise just how much I love the place. Having visited regularly as a child, I always enjoyed the freedom and fresh air Thurso offered, and what better thing to do than offer my children the same opportunity!

We visited again for 7 days in August 2009 and within hours, decided Thurso was going to be home! We are a housing association tenant, so we got on to a few home-swap websites and also filled out an application for housing with the Highland Council. Unfortunately, the council couldnt house us, but put us on the waiting list - one we knew was very long and we were near the bottom! We were very lucky to find a few houses in Thurso with tenants wanting to move. After what felt like months of uncertainty, we finally got a swap arranged, and we are on the move!

Paperwork has been signed, and on 3rd April we will leave this house for good! Obviously there are people we will miss, and 1 inparticular.... my Dad. He is the best dad in the world and I will miss him so much but I know this move is the best thing for me and my little family, and we need to come first now.

So, right now, my house is littered with boxes, I am worrying over everything from will it all fit in the van to whether Jessica will be ok in her new school. Im not sleeping well, so thought the blog might help with those insomniac nights!